Posting here because my boyfriend always says these are dumb. So I’ve (21f) been dating my bf Chris (24M) for the last year. We started off as fwb but decided to give it a try about 3 months into it. A couple of months ago he introduced me to his family. I was nervous because I’m not close with my family and he is the complete opposite. I wanted so badly to make a good impression because they mean so much to him.

His mom, dad, and 2 younger brothers are great! But it’s his older sister that is the problem. I could tell from the first day we met that she hated me. She was cold and slightly standoffish. Now I’m a huge overthinker so I just let it go just assuming that she would warm up to me eventually. His family eventually invited me to family dinners every Saturday night. One dinner my bf jokingly said that his sister and I should do something together to get to know each other. She said that she would never hang out around me willingly and stormed out. No explanation.

The dinner was pretty tense after that but no one ever acknowledged it. When he dropped me off I asked about it and he only said his sister was really protective of him. After that anytime I was in the room with his sister she would storm off. The only time she could be in the room with me is for the dinners. Honestly it was okay with me. So they were talking about their family trip during dinner one night. They asked me if I’d ever been to Cabo and if I wanted to go. His sister interrupted and asked where I would even sleep. My bf laughed and said I would stay with him in his room. This set her off and she started yelling that it was a family trip and I was trying to steal her brother from his family.

We ended up leaving but again, no explanations, no excuses, and no apologies. After that day I started to get calls and texts everyday from random numbers. The texts were mildly threatening but nothing too crazy. I didn’t even think that it could be his sister. Until I verified that I would be going with them on the trip last month. This flipped a switch and the texts started to get very scary.

Basically saying to leave my bf or things would happen. I asked my bf if he thought it could be his sister and he just denied it and said it was probably someone trolling me. He explained his sister is just jealous because he is spending more of his time with me. That she would never do anything like that.

It wasn’t until I was walking out of work last week and saw my car was keyed with the words home wrecker. I just know it’s her but I don’t know how to tell my boyfriend so he’ll believe me. Should I go to the police? I don’t know what I can even do. I really love him but I’m scared his sister will do something to me. Also what if it’s not his sister I don’t even know what to think.

After the car incident, when I confronted Chris again, he looked really troubled and finally reluctantly revealed something. He mumbled something about how his sister is still really messed up from what happened with his last serious girlfriend… apparently, she was really toxic, caused a huge family rift, and even threatened his sister at one point. He said his sister’s reaction to me is probably just ‘old wounds’ acting up, and she doesn’t really mean it.

I’m still scared and hurt, but now I know there’s a complicated history behind her hatred. However, does that justify harassing and threatening me? And can I live with a family carrying so much baggage, especially when my boyfriend seems unable or unwilling to fully address it?

AITA for thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend because of his sister’s terrifying behavior and his reluctance to handle it, even if her actions might stem from past family trauma?